Godly Grief

I didn't know Mike well. I was acquainted, mostly in my early 20s and didn't stay in contact after that. Saw him again maybe what felt like 10 years ago or so. 

Still...it hits different.

When you feel someone was definitely not saved, even a nice person, and they die....and it hits you that at this very moment they are in a very literal place of darkness and flames and torment....

Someone you once talked or joked with..

And then you take it further when you realize what's gonna happen to them and everyone else after Jesus comes back...a very literal throwing into a pit of unending fire, where their bodies will burn perpetually and eternally...

And you feel sorry (to put that lightly) for them...it hits different. 

You wouldn't want that for them, or anyone obviously, but you know that's the reality.

So, in a way I am grieving over Mike's death...not as if I knew him well but because I don't believe he was saved when he suddenly died. 

I tried praying about it. But I'm not getting any conformation that it's otherwise, that he was saved. 

There are many times where Jesus showed himself all too happy/eager to point out his servants.

 It hasn't appeared so in Mike's case. 

I'm not claiming to know. I don't. I just don't 'feel' he's in heaven. And I haven't received any confirmation there. 

But it really should hit different. It should hit, that unsaved people go to hell and are facing a very literal eternal torment. This is useful in the sense that I need to understand the seriousness of the need to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I'll grow. I'm training.

God keeps comforting that I myself will be spared, but it hasn't diminished the grief I feel when I imagine myself a moment in the shoes of a person who died, unsaved, and is now in hell. Only a miniscule of a minute of a fraction of their dread in the knowledge of what's coming. 

The resurrection. 

The righteous to life...the unrighteous tossed into a pit of flames. 

....

I feel God is encouraging me to remember my reward. Perhaps to not to let these unpleasant thoughts keep me held down.

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